a new year?

2010 has been a chaotic, but great year!

On the family front, we had our daughter Adyn (“add-in”), we moved into a new beautiful home, and got a new dog (still not sure why…)! On the work front… not much has changed! After a really dry business time, and trying to get a job at a church for 8 months, I’ve started working with my Dad… wow, a bit pride-swallowing when I see that sentence. On the music front, I’ve managed to release two EP’s that I really loved working on! All in all, a pretty great year!

There have been times this year, however, where I wonder if I’m moving forward or backward with God.

We just had some family in town, and I was watching TV with one of them. They were discussing how ridiculous it is that people get so divided over politics, and I couldn’t have agreed more. Then they said, “It’s just like religion, people just think their way is best.” and I froze up. I said nothing. I do think Jesus is the only saving grace, and I’ve seen people enslaved to caste or other innately oppressive religious philosophies. But I know how unpopular this view is, and I froze. Christians in other countries get disowned by their families, beaten up, or even killed for believing in Jesus! And here I was, unable to bring myself to discomfort for Him.

I know God’s grace is enough. And in my weakness, He is strong. But I don’t want this trend to continue in my life. Like gravity, the natural forces in our world pull us down to mediocrity and status-quo. We all feel it pulling. We’re faced with thousands of little decisions either toward Christ-likeness, or away. I would never be so cliché as to resolve to change this in 2011, I know this is a life-long battle for all of mankind. But, I don’t want to move backward this year. I pray I will make more day-to-day decisions toward Him this year than last. I pray the same for you! Happy new year peeps!

think happy thoughts.

Several months ago I started memorizing scripture. I, of course, used the Navigators topical memory system. And being the high-achieving first-born that I am… I memorized them as fast as I could! I got up to about twenty and was feeling pretty good. But, like most things with God, in my hurry I missed something.

We got a new puppy last week. Don’t ask me why at a time when we have an 8-month old, and a two-year old, we felt compelled to buy a puppy! And a lab at that! (Yes, the breed from the movie Marley and Me) Now eventually we’ll be at that dogs funeral reminiscing over all of our good times with her, but now we are at the comical, insane part of the movie that leaves Blakey and I exhausted. Up in the middle of the night with dog and baby and chasing a two-year old boy around! Needless to say I was loosing it last night. I kept dwelling on how tired I was and loosing more and more patience!

Once we laid the kids down, Blake read a devotional to me that contained one of my aforementioned memory verses..

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me–everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. —Philippians 4:6-9—

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life — and I’m running out of time to figure it out. What if I never find it? Will I always be unhappy and unfulfilled? Will I never achieve my purpose? What will God do about that – will He call me a bad servant? But I can’t help it. Why doesn’t He answer my prayers for direction?  Maybe I’m just too sinful or something. I know I should read the Bible more. Is this limbo I’m in some kind of punishment for that? Am I really so much worse than everybody else? Maybe I just don’t have any special gifts or talents. Or they just never got developed. Maybe that’s it, and maybe now it’s too late. So what do I do now? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do …”

I dwell on the bad things in my life as if I will suddenly have a strike of inspiration and “figure it out.” But this study and the verse in Philippians reminded me to think good thoughts. Not just positive, not sucking down my doubts and fears, but consciously thinking about things that are truly good! In times of worry or anxiety we need to: pray about “everything”, thank God for what He has done, and fill our minds with good thoughts about God and His many blessings. “Then the God of peace will be with you.” Today I will stop thinking about all the problems in life and focus on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable, and worthy of praise. And then I’ll start all over tomorrow…

all romans 12.

Nothing has changed more in the last two years than my “quiet time.”

With a 2 year-old and an 8 month-old there is little actually quiet moments, and those that do occur are taken up by work or Blake and I laying and staring blankly at the ceiling trying to regain our sanity! But somewhere in there, I’ve always seemed to steal away a little time to read and pray. But my old method (from the last ten or so years) is no longer fruitful. What was this time-tested method? … Read through the bible in a year, every year. An average of 4 chapters a day and you’re golden!

But lately “reading” those chapters has been more like “running my eyes over the words and retaining nothing.” I think a lot of this has to do with anticipating the child-enduced ending of that quiet time at any moment! So I have to get done what I can!! But I think God has led me to something different..

I’m going to read Romans chapter 12 all year.

There is something about narrowing myself down on one key chapter in the Bible that feels liberating. And Romans 12 is right where I am at right now. It’s about the Church, unity in diverse giftings, and just succinct tidbits of Godly wisdom that I find super helpful these days! Now, I’ll probably throw other scriptures in there and read other books etc. but the meat of my “quiet time” will now be in Romans 12. I’ll probably post some of my thoughts as I go along on here…

neglect.

I have been neglecting my blog. I tend to do this sort of thing. Gung-ho one minute, distracted and sidetracked the next. A bit of a zeitgeist I guess..

But I think its justified with how psycho-busy I’ve been! OK, running my business (where I’m doing 4 album art projects, 2 band websites, finishing a Church website, and designing a new campaign of print material for Crowder’s new conference… phew!), I have two children under the age of two (no need for these parentheses, it’s just tiring), and I am in the middle of transitioning back into the business world (discussed in detail July 18th). I’m having a hard time sitting and blogging. Actually I’m having a hard time justifying sitting and blogging!

I’ve slowed down my online interaction lately to near-nil, and I’ve found something out… I’m not missing a thing! I don’t know if it was the music (which I still have a new EP coming out soon), or friends but in the last year or so social media became a compulsion!

But lately, I’m appreciating what is right in front of me! Adyn, my daughter is sitting in my lap as I write! God has entrusted me to be a father, husband, and leader in my family. My ministry focus, for now, is here. For some reason in the past I considered this a cop-out, or a lesser-calling, but today I am satisfied with it! Boo yeah.

Mike Livingood

As some of you know, a friend of mine Mike Livingood is in India. He put together a little video about his time there. It’s also a scholarship application for a graduate program he has been accepted into. If you have time, please vote for Mike’s video!

Hope you enjoy seeing the wonderful kids of Agape that our church just worked with!
http://publicservicechallenge.com/index.php?vid=t3WJG25DcUA

3025.

Another shameless display of people-counting on my part, but … 3,025 whole peeps!? It is amazing! And I just found out that the counter counts people, not just hits. So thanks for tuning in peeps!

the glory years.

Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.

—Matthew 4:19—

I have been going through a serious time of introspection.

I often find myself reflecting on times past when I felt close to God and saw Him move in tangible ways. I of course flash back to my time as a YWAMer (as most of us YWAMers tend to do) and remember that as a time of great closeness and reliance on God. For those of you not YWAMified, YWAM is a missions organization where the students, staff, and other workers travel the world ministering to people without ANY money! They are 100% supported by individuals they already know. My wife Blake and I were supported some by family, but most of our other income came from other supporters. We always marvel at how God always came through and even when we felt His leading to give money to others, He would consistently fill that gap through some miraculous way! And we got to travel the globe, see people saved, lives transformed… my glory years.

Now, we have 2 kids, live in a 4-bedroom house, and I (after several months of trying to find a worship pastor job, and my business not doing great) am now working full time at my Dad’s company. Not where I was hoping to be. I love ministry. I feel comfortable doing it. Something about it just comes so naturally, and it’s results so tangible. And I get so much encouragement whenever I’m doing it. So what is God doing?! Sure I’m writing and recording music, and I have this flippin blog but I miss sitting down with people and just ministering!

But a small thought has been growing inside me the last week. You know, those thoughts that start small and unclear but out of the fog it begins to grow in clarity and seems to drop straight from God Himself…

What if I actually stopped looking for the next set of glory years, and actually became a “fisher of men” where I’m at?

Seems like God 101. But I’ve never felt so much relief and release! A religious guilt has grown in me quite unnoticed. It was works-based and dwelled in the past. I have been crippled by the mountaintop experiences of the past and wallowing in my desire to see them return. But now, I have begun to look at the people God has put in my path today; my wife, my kids, our neighbors, the mormon missionaries that come to my door, the woman behind me in the grocery store, the man sitting next to me in a bookstore… where can God use me now?

I want to be the man that is willing to find out!

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

—Philippians 3:13-14—

moleskine.

For those of you not in the eccentric subset of society known as the visual arts community, you are probably unaware of the cultish following of Moleskine notebooks (even wordpress seems unaware, as it is underlining it as misspelled now). They are classic, artsy little notebooks that have been around for 200 years! They’ve been used by Van Gogh, Henri Matisse, and Ernest Hemingway adding to their mystique! So now, they are known to be filled with illustrations and often act as an artist’s visual diary. I skinkin love these things!

But I stumbled across a sweet flickr group, and spent a little too much time perusing the illustrations..

The present.

I get email updates from John Eldredge, and I always enjoy them! This one in particular got me thinking..

“The Religious Man or Woman is a popular story option in which we try to reduce the wildness of life by constructing a system of promises and rewards, a contract that will obligate God to grant us exemption from the Arrows. It really doesn’t matter what the particular group bargain is-doctrinal adherence, moral living, or some sort of spiritual experience-the desire is the same: taming God in order to tame life. Never mind those deep yearnings of the soul; never mind the nagging awareness that God is not cooperating. If the system isn’t working, it’s because we’re not doing it right. There’s always something to work on, with the promise of abundant life just around the corner. Plenty of churches and leaders are ready to show you how to cut a deal.

These stories comprise what James McClendon calls the “tournament of narratives” in our culture, a clash of many small dramas competing for our heart. Through baseball and politics and music and sex and even church, we are searching desperately for a Larger Story in which to live and find our role. All of these smaller stories offer a taste of meaning, adventure, or connectedness. But none of them offer the real thing; they aren’t large enough. Our loss of confidence in a Larger Story is the reason we demand immediate gratification. We need a sense of being alive now, for now is all we have. Without a past that was planned for us and a future that waits for us, we are trapped in the present. There’s not enough room for our souls in the present.”

—John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance—

doctrine.

So I had some Mormon missionaries come by again last night and we had a great chat about doctrine!

People don’t believe me when I say this, but ask my wife, I really enjoy talking to Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses! Really. It challenges you to know what you believe, and why you believe it! Not to mention, they are normally very nice people who (let’s be honest) put most Christians to shame in they’re zeal and commitment.

But I think a mistake most Christians make (the same most Mormons make as well) is thinking talking to Mormons and defending doctrine is easy. It’s not. I got stumped a couple times (namely James 2:24 when talking about salvation, but I think I’m ready for when they come back!) and I stumped them a few times. I think that’s just healthy in religious dialogue!

My friend George Elerick talks a lot about stuff like this on his site. Now, for the record, I probably agree with 50% of George’s views (if that much! … love ya George : ) but I hate to see people shy away from opposing ideas! Engage them! Challenge yourself! And in the end you’ll either broaden your views, or solidify the ones you already have.

I think, deep down, nobody is 100% confident in their views of God, because God is not 100% knowable. And in the end, faith is a decision that we all have to make at some point. But Christians, engage others about God, study your Bible, and challenge yourself! You will grow closer to God and others.